How Long Will it Take?

Most mediators and collaborative lawyers will tell you that it is very difficult to say with certainty how many sessions will be required for you to reach agreement.

Certainly, the more time you can spend outside the session, with yourself and ideally with your spouse (if you think conversations will be productive), discussing the various issues related to your separation agreement, and the more easily you and your spouse can agree on fair terms, the less time you will need in mediation or collaborative four-way meetings. To my mind, the most important factors are obtaining all the information that you need, and having an ability to reflect on the issues and then discussing them together in good faith.

Where there are no parenting decisions to be made, I have worked with couples who have resolved all issues in a small number of sessions - typically between two and four sessions, or a total of between 4-8 hours of mediation, sometimes less. When parenting and child support issues are also present, typically five or six sessions, or a total of between 10-12 hours of mediation, is required, again, sometimes less. I have on occasion had mediations that required up to 10 sessions or more.

You may anticipate a similar time frame for collaborative law, although typically more time is involved as the process will include attorney- client, attorney-attorney, and four-way interactions. The complexity of the property issues, the need for spousal support, the ease or difficulty in your communication, how much time you need between sessions, and how much you wish to revisit various issues before reaching a final agreement, will all play a factor. Again, the more energy and time that you are able constructively to devote to the issues outside the sessions, the less time may be necessary.

As with most things, a balancing act is advisable. Mediation and collaborative law should not last any longer than necessary - it can be a painful, draining, and costly process. It's important to check in with yourself to make sure that you are not prolonging the process to avoid, for example, feelings of loss. Nor should you rush through a mediation or collaborative law process to avoid conflict or grappling with difficult questions, or simply to save money, if it would come at the expense of thoughtful, careful decisions that will help you reach closure and move forward with your life.